Rape

Rape is penetration of the mouth, anus, or vagina without consent. Penetration can be with a dildo, penis, fingers, tongue, bottle, gun, and more. The victim can be incapable of giving consent due to being unconscious or being a child. Consenting sex between an adult and a teenager under the legal age of consent is also considered a type of rape, called statutory rape. Statutory rape can occur without the adult’s knowledge that the teenager is under the legal age of consent. Rape falls under the category of sexual assault, which includes mutilation of the genitals, removing clothing without consent, and groping without penetration and without consent.
Rape can occur anywhere. Wealthy, poor, middle class, homeless all experience and commit rape. Males and females experience and commit rape. Infants, toddlers, children, teenagers, adults, and seniors all are victims of rape. Children, teenagers, adults, and seniors are all capable of rape. Rape occurs in developed countries, developing countries, and third world countries. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, intersex, and transgender individuals are all victims of rape. It can occur in a bar, in a school, on a bus, in an alleyway, behind a building, or even in your own home. Rapists are often someone the victim knows and trusts. It is estimated that every family tree has at least one rapist and one victim. When a family member rapes another family member, it is called incest. It is more common for a family member to rape a child than for anyone else to do so.
It is estimated that one in four girls and one in five boys are raped as a child. It is also estimated that only 20% of victims report the attack. A high number of incestuous rapes result in victim blaming or disbelief by the rest of the family. Rapes in general often result in victim blaming or accusations of lying by society as a whole, especially when the victim is a male. Typically, rape isn’t solely about sex. Rape is about power or punishment. It is estimated that about 1% to 5% of rapists receive jail time for their crime. Most rape kits go uninvestigated, whether the victim wants it to be or not.
As many as 80% of rapes go unreported. There are many reasons not to report a rape. The rapist may have threatened to kill or injure the victim or their family. The victim may be so embarrassed and ashamed, he or she doesn’t want anyone to know. The victim may be afraid of the typical victim blaming response from society. Male victims may be afraid of appearing weak or being ridiculed by people who don’t believe male victims exist. The victim may love the rapist and not want the rapist to get into trouble, especially if the victim blames him/herself. The victim may be afraid to go to trial because of the tendency of the court to put the victim on trial instead of the rapist. The victim may want to forget it ever happened and move on with his or her life.
The process of healing psychologically from the rape can take a lifetime. While the physical wounds of the attack heal at a decent pace, the victim must live with the psychological wounds for a very long time. People who don’t understand often tell the survivor to get over it because it’s in the past. That just makes them feel worse and take longer to heal. The length of time required to heal has a lot in common with how much emotional support the survivor has from family, friends, and society. The more support the survivor receives, the faster he or she heals psychologically from the attack. A survivor may develop a psychological disorder (such as post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobias, clinical depression, and generalized anxiety disorder) that they also must work through. It is often helpful for the survivor to seek assistance from a mental healthcare professional with experience with rape victims. Medications may be prescribed to assist the survivor with coping with the disorders he or she has developed, if any. If you know someone who has claimed to have been raped, believe them and give them as much emotional support as you can. This may include bringing them food when they are too emotionally unstable to prepare anything. It may include spending a few nights with them until they feel safe overnight. Holding her hand during a rape kit (males typically don’t receive a rape kit due to disbelief) may help a lot. Whatever you do, do not pressure him or her to press charges or “get over it.” The victim needs to decide for him/herself when and if they want to press charges, as the trial process can be very traumatic to a rape victim. Telling a victim to get over it encourages the victim to withdraw from other people, which causes their psychological state to worsen. Your role as a friend or family member is to help him or her feel safe and heal psychologically from the damage of the attack.